This is a very raw and emotional blog post for me. I write this because I owe it to the man I love. Who unconditionally loves me.
Haven’t we, as women, dreamed about the day of meeting our “tall, dark, and handsome”? Over 7 years ago I met mine on a crazy football-induced weekend in Dallas, Texas. Most days I cannot believe Anthony chose me to be his partner for life. I was such a b-i-t-c-h to him when we first met, but I sure did make fun of the boot that I had to wear since I broke my foot several weeks beforehand. Who knew that my sense of humor (which I never thought I had) would be a key role in the beginning of our relationship.
He was there when I went crazy from studying organic chemistry, making sure to get me out of the sorority house for my sanity. He attended many sorority date parties, even though that wasn’t his thing. He went along with all my decisions for our wedding (the bride always makes the decisions, right?). He endured the long-arse drive from Sonoma/Napa Valley to Washington state on our honeymoon. He stood by my side for the many months of frustration, tears, and depression when we first moved to Nashville. He stood by my side when I took a leap and started a young adult group at our church. He encouraged me to start a photography business and has been my biggest supporter. He held me close when I was uncertain about moving to New Jersey. And now that times are tough again, he holds me even closer telling me it will all be okay.
There are many times when I just want to yell “you just don’t understand!” But deep down I know he does. He understands where my anger comes from and he accepts it. He knows exactly where the love is and how to draw that out of me when I try to shut down. Recently he came into the living room as it was nearing bed time to tell me that it was hard for him to be in the back (where his office/room is) reading while I was in the living room sad and bored and all the other emotions I’ve been feeling lately. My heart melted right then and there. THIS is why we are together – he totally gets me.
The past 6 months have been trying and difficult for me. If you follow me on twitter or a friend on facebook you may have seen updates recently about my nephews. For the time being my parents have temporary custody of their two grandsons. This isn’t what life is suppose to be for my parents. These are their golden years. I had no idea the effect the situation would have on me.
Anthony is the one who brings me back to reality when I wake from a nightmare. He is there to rub my back, wipe away the tears, hug me until I pull away when I break down almost every single day.
This is an ode to the man who brings me joy every.single.day. Thank you Anthony for loving me when I’m happy and giggly, when I have the ugly cry going on, when I wind up the windmill. You are my rock!